Vinnie Jones, the angry English soccer player, plays an angry English soccer player in Mean Machine. When Danny (Jones), an English soccer ex-captain, goes on a drunken driving rampage, he is arrested and thrown into jail, where he is not very popular. His lack of popularity can be traced to an international match where Danny was paid to throw the game and many inmates (including the gaol's crime boss) lost a lot of money.
Circumstances lead to a big game in the jail, where the inmates are to play the guards. Danny is in charge of the team and sets about overcoming his various obstacles. The final big match has some very naughty soccer indeed.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and state that I think Mean Machine is the best sports movie I've ever seen. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and doesn't get bogged down with the little kids coming through in the end and everybody dancing around gaily to 'We are the Champions'. All the old clich((eacute))s are still in there, but are pulled off with much more style and hilarity. Full of familiar faces from Lock, Stock and Snatch, including Jason Statham, who has a great time in his role as Monk the psychotic goalie, Mean Machine is a must-see for all those who enjoy Vinnie Jones's frowns, or a good escapist laugh.