Brendan Gleeson, Miranda RichardsonFire! Dragons! The Red Army! Ralph Fiennes with no nose!

Those of you who have been around for a couple of years may remember me as that depraved reviewer of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (in case you were wondering, I never did marry Alfonso Cuarón. Sigh). If so, you may be as surprised as I was to find that they let me review Goblet of Fire, too.

Its wonderful, once again, to be in the hands of a competent director (no, not literally. Sigh). Goblet comes to life as a film in its own right, full of witty and dark and frightening extrapolations on the novel (the lake! the maze! the teenage angst!), and it is lovely to behold. This time, Harry (Radcliffe) must compete in the Triwizard Tournament, risking life, limb, and reputation for eternal glory, while evil lurks within Hogwarts. Courage is tested, friendships are tried, and hormones threaten to ruin everything.

Gleeson is marvellous as Mad-Eye Moody, the auror-turned-teacher whose determined and demented eye stays on Harry throughout, and Ralph Fiennes's Voldemort is near-perfect - subtle and sadistic and beautifully menacing. Not that I want to marry either of them. Just so you know.