In the tradition of The Wedding Singer, When Harry Met Sally..., Knocked Up and any other movie that could not decide whether it was a Rom Com or a Slacker Movie, so decided to try to be both, comes Not Suitable for Children.

Point is, with Not Suitable for Children, you pretty much know what you are going to get. The hero, Jonah (Kwanten) lives in a well-to-do inner city suburb, gets his income from staging raves and, like all good slackers, has no real responsibility at all. Then he gets diagnosed with testicular cancer. More predictable hilarity ensues as Jonah tries to convince one of his many, many ex-girlfriends and other flings to have a baby with him before he gets one of his boys removed. This is followed by some deep soul searching. Followed by some more hilarity, with the ever predictable catharsis at the end in which A and B discover that even though they are not perfect individually they may be perfect together. Still, that is not a reason not to see the movie. Nothing much is on television nowadays so why don't you come down to the film, park your brain in the corner and just enjoy the fantasy.

Spoiler: Sorry to all you "True Blood" fans, there are no vampires in this film. A few zombies, but no vampires.

It's the not-too-distant future in New York City and billionaire Eric Packer (Pattinson) is the pinnacle of capitalism. At only 28, Packer is the uncontested king of Wall Street, a brilliant financial whiz who has made his fortune playing the stock market using the billions and minions at his disposal. Today, on a whim, Packer decides to travel across Manhattan to get a haircut at his father's old barber.

His chauffeur and bodyguard (Kevin Durand) warns him about potential complications: a presidential motorcade has slowed traffic to a crawl, with the resultant protests and credible threats against Packer's own life being slightly more pressing than his hair length difficulty. But Packer persists, more concerned about the mounting exchange rate of the Chinese yuan, which he has been unwisely betting against. Monitoring the situation from his leather throne inside a fully equipped, sound-and-bullet-proof stretch limousine, Packer begins his perilous journey across town.

Yes, Cosmopolis is ostensibly about a man going to get a haircut, but in the hands of David Cronenberg you'd be foolish for not expecting more. During the course of his 24-hour odyssey across Manhattan, Packer meets with an assortment of figures (played by an impressive roster of guest stars) - both in-limo and during pit stops - who engage him in a series of bizarre, hyper-intelligent conversations that pick apart the plutocrat's psyche as only Cronenberg can. Buoyed by a surprisingly good performance from everyone's favourite sparkly vampire, this ambitious, talky and surreal social satire may not be for everyone, but is well worth the ride for those willing to give it a go.