“Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O’Neil and her cameraman Vernon Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan.”

The above paragraph is a direct quote from Paramount and displays the original perspective taken by this film. A long seven years after their last big-screen outing, the studio has decided to once again resurrect these characters, because the public demanded another film in the franchise. Obviously wanting to cater for the people’s desire to reinvent classic childhood stories (see The Smurfs, The Last Airbender and Alvin and the Chipmunks for other recent Hollywood success stories), the director of Battle: Los Angeles, Wrath of the Titans and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning has collected the talents of Megan Fox as April O’Neil, and Tony Shalhoub and William Fichtner as the iconic Japanese characters Shredder and Splinter.

You basically know whether you want to see this or not. Haters who want to complain about this Michael Bay-produced reboot can go and see something like Ernest & Celestine instead. The rest of us can come along and enjoy the massive explosions and cool characters of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, safe in the comfort-zone of Hollywood money well spent.

Father James Lavelle (Gleeson) is a kind, devoted community priest whose life revolves around doing what he can for his struggling community. So it comes as quite a shock to him when an anonymous communion turns into a death threat – Father James has one week to get his house in order, at the end of which he will be killed.

He spends his week making amends with his daughter (Reilly) and meeting with members of his communion, a many and varied bunch of sinners each with their own piece of the puzzle. But James is not just there to try to unravel the mystery of his possible assassin; his discussions are just as much about earnestly trying to help his flock, as well as trying to resolve questions within himself.

The performances are top notch and the script excellent – laced with the blackest of black comedy, Calvary drags you from laughter to deep thought to devastation with a deft hand. So stick around and get some use out of the brain cells you didn’t need in the first of tonight’s films.